Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
