a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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