he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
