Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
