I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
