Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
