dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
