Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
