remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
