I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
