I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize