Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
