You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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