are you still at the devil's house?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
