im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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