The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
