You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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