it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i drank out of a bidet.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
