just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
