But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
