Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
