im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
