is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
