Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
