so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize