i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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