Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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