What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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