That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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