Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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