in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
