Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
