Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i barfeds in our rink
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
