just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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