how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
