If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
