What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
