let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
