Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
