She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize