I have demons in me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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