Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
