And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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