you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
