I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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