yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
