Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize