So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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