Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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