God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
