never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
