There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
