She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
