Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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