When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
