school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
