After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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