there's paper in my vomit.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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