the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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