where am i from again
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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