Actions speak louder than pants.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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