I am puke
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
