so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
