Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
