with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
