If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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