Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
