The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
