He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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