Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
