well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
