I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
false alarm, still single
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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