The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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