Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
