she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Text me some of your sweat
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
