Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
