I think I died a long time ago.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
