I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
