Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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